Cadence

(A melodic or harmonic configuration that creates a sense of repose or resolution.)

"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever." - Psalms 52:8

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

miracle #2

so on Good Friday we had huge plans to gather all the teens, and play touch rugby.

grand plans! yes, coz it was a large turn out. our teens brought a total of 30 friends (inclusive of an entire contact rugby team).

what kinda botched up our plans were:

- the field was incredibly muddy though it had not rained at all
- i could not reach jonathan and 15 of his friends because his phone died... and he didn't show up at the predetermined meeting point (the muddy field)
- the remaining half of us were girls and out of that, half of the girls refused to play and walked off to the nearby mall, and kinda never came back until we were done.

the control freak in me totally busted out.

"omg where are they going how can they bond with us if they don't join us in games SHOOTS DID THAT GIRL JUST FALL IN MUD her entire cardigan is brown omg where is that jonathan where i need more players THERE IS TOO MUCH SUN am i killing the girls with all this running omgomg i am dying so much mudddd..."

i always can feel it when tension builds up coz i get wound up so tightly i'd almost snap in two. normally once i reach that point i force myself to let go.

'seriously, this game is merely a gathering point for the movie later. as long as everyone's here and doing their own kinda fun, it should be good enough, right? let it go, let it go. leave it to God.'


relaxxxx. ahhhh.

so the game ended and we all split up to clean up for dinner. jonathan also finally managed to contact us - they had been playing their own game at our backup place which was surprisingly empty.

at 630pm we got to natalie's place which was the meeting point for dinner... but nat was not home. how can it be? she's the host!

i got really mad coz she was the one who'd led her friends to the mall and took ages to get back, and now when the whole world is ready and waiting outside her house, SHE'S NOT THERE. and the maid is new, so she didn't allow us to go in first.

nat finally showed up with her friends and let us in. we settled everyone down and started some board games and had a vcd playing A Cinderella Story. it's ok, jonathan's not here yet...

7pm - ok, jon should be here by now. but he's not. the pizza is getting cold.

730pm - he's still not here.

by 750pm alvin was concerned that all the girls were getting bored waiting. also, the bunch watching the vcd refused to stop... and it was natalie who refused to stop the movie. i was so angry with her! because she was totally not helping! GAH!!

i started praying again because the night was close to disaster. i promised myself that if jonathan didn't come by 8pm, i'd just start the show. and natalie was going to have a long talk with me.

5 more minutes.

Amen.

at precisely 8pm a throng of rugby boys burst through the door with a clearly tired-out jonathan apologizing over and over. my phone was dead! i'm so sorry!

i looked at my watch and wanted to hug him. they made it in good time! the video also ended right after the boys had eaten. it was time to start the show.

it was a really really well produced biography of a lady who fell into a gambling addiction which led to her worshiping spirits and possessing supernatural 'gifts', inheriting paranoia and then falling into depression. it was so good and i knew, by the silence, that everyone was open to the message.

i thanked God silently, and while the rest were watching i started to pray for my section where i was going to give the altar call. i don't really prepare for them... i prefer risking everything on whatever God wanted me to say. everything depended on the situation, and listening in to Him. i prefer it like that.

and that night, God told me to bless them. the altar call was not to call people to believe in Him. the call was to those who have been hurting and need healing and love, and encouragement from Him.

it was the most amazing altar call i've ever been part of. everyone was quiet, the voice and words that came out of my mouth was commanding and gentle at the same time. i felt love pouring out of every pore and at that moment i really felt what it was like to GIVE LOVE.

gone was the notion and dread of bringing pre-believers to Christ. we don't do that... we're simply called to be a blessing in their lives. if they receive Jesus that's wonderful, but so what if they don't? i've never really felt the pressure to convert people, but now i had a legitimate reason not to - i just really, really want to replace that with blessings.

many hands were risen, a few tears shed. there was healing that night and it showed in the weeks after. even with adrean - my relationship with him strengthened when the night ended and we had a talk on religion and goals in life.

this whole TGIF experience was miracle number 2, and this was also the best TGIF party i've organized. because i had God... and alvin!

i also forgave nat, and somehow understood that she was under pressure to be a good host to her friends while hosting us. i told myself: she's only sec 2, come on, it's not easy to balance everything that's going on.

i love natalie very much, actually. in fact, i think my cell group is made of amazing kids who are lined up for great things. i am so tremendously blessed by them and their smses of love. :)

blonde moment

me to alvin:

"hey wait let me send you the numbers... i need to find my handphone, where's my handphone... eh? where's my handphone? where's my handphone? adrean have you seen... never mind. where's my handphone?

oh wait, i'm on my handphone."

a slew of miracles

HUGE BACKLOG.

HUGE.

(and i'm glad... not by the backlog, but by the quantity)

---

miracle #1

it was when i first started at the new place. summary: i was thrown into the deep end, and was beginning to drown. by drown i mean about to cause my company to lose a frikkin' load of money.

i was living in fear of one particular engineer. he spoke straight up in a loud, loud voice. and has a frightening gaze. i quail when i speak to him, and drift off into jelly land when i'm no longer confident of my speech.

one day, i knew i had something really stupid to ask him which i was loathe to do, but it had to be done because i've been causing a delay by not comprehending what he needed. and it's gone into URGENT-WE-NEED-IT-NOW. but i am so gonna get shouted at like the last few times. :(((

as the fear built up slowly but surely, i started hyperventilating. thank God, i also knew i was being really stupid about it so i started praying. then i told God i will muster up the courage right after i said my amen.

'Amen.'

the doorbell rang. OMG THE ENGINEER IS HERE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?! he never comes up!

he came in and spoke to me in the nicest tone, like a father to his daughter. he explained everything, (i managed to ask my stupid question) and then ended off with a 'i'm not scolding you! don't worry, just learn.'

T_T

i thought that was the end. being able to ask my question, i was already elated.

but no, of course, our God is one who follows through.

the phone rang straight after the engineer left - some supplier's here to see me? oh wait yar it's the supplier who's giving me the wrong type of bolt i need. never mind i should go meet him anyway.

i ran down coz he'd been waiting since the engineer came in to explain the right type of bolt he needed. he passed me his sample - i was wrong and had mistaken him with someone else.

HIS BOLTS WERE THE RIGHT SORT I WAS SEARCHING HIGH AND LOW (for a month) FOR. AND HE HAS THEM IN EX-STOCK.

my entire problem, not just the stupid question, but everything was solved in a snap.

my heart was absolutely singing as i walked back to my office, clutching those lucrative samples with a dazed smile on my face.

this was also the day my faith came back, where i started to view my workplace as my battleground, AND WHERE I DECIDED I WILL EXPERIENCE VICTORY.

Amen, indeed.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

in the middle of the night

i hear screaming...

coming from inside me. ok it's more like a really loud shrieking (imagine - two 17 year old girls from girls' schools bumping into one another in a mall) because i am browsing etsy, wedding websites and wedding dresses all at one time.

wah all this excitement... it's quite hard to take man.

*breathe*breathe*