i am secure.

emmanuel.

service was so good today. on the way to church, i plugged in my earphones, and prepared myself to meet God. along the way, it just hit me that i feel the need for Him the strongest when i am in the sorriest state.

but then again, sometimes when i'm in a rut, i tend to shut Him out too.

thank goodness, i felt different this time. don't know why, but i just felt at peace, and so secure.

once i stepped into hall 10, i could feel the difference in the atmosphere. i felt love, and it just washed over me. stood during worship, and watched the choir. it was my tribe's turn for choir duty, so it was fun pointing out familiar people to the kids, and watch the people i know worshipping. it's really nice. :)

and then pastor melvyn came on to preach, and his message was 'victory over fear'. it spoke to me, but it felt like it was a me that i had overcome. i can't really explain, but i know yesterday after throwing away my cultures i'd felt defeated. it was not an unfamiliar feeling. it was like everytime when i'd got no results. i guess it was a sort of fear?

but when ps melvyn spoke, today, everything was changed. i was calm, secure, confident, and i know i dread starting over, but only because i am lazy (haha), and not that i fear defeat.

i feel good. i really do. :)