guilt trip

(let me attempt to blog in 10 minutes.)

i'd bargained for a top at the Science bazaar yesterday. it was going for $18, so i tried to lower the price.

'the lowest i can give you is $17...' the young girl said, with an apologetic look on her face.

'how about $15? please laaa...'

'er...' she turns away to ask someone else, then turns back and asks, 'are you a student?'

there was a niggling little voice in my head that started squealing, 'don't do it! don't -'

and yet i said, 'yes i am.'

so she gave me the top at $16. and not just that, we had a conversation about how we're both year 4s and what a terrible year it was, omg.

I LIED!!!! FOR A MEASLY $1!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my, oh my.

of course i felt a little guilty while we were having the 'year 4' conversation. but i just brushed everything away... until...

...

this morning as i did QT on the train as usual, God had a little lesson in store for me.

as i read Psalms 15:

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart


in my mind, i froze.

'CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!' and i felt a flush of guilt wash over me.

it was so terrible!!! 'i lied for $1, i lied for a measly dollar...' just kept running through my head.

i had to right this wrong.

---

and so when i reached school, i walked up to the stall, grabbed the girl and pressed a one-dollar coin into her hand.

only then did the guilt ebb away.

bleh.

i really suck sometimes. :(

(there, 9 minutes.)