how NOT to be filial

my grandma hasn't been feeling too good lately, and she was hospitalised for a while. during the short hospital stay, it raised the concern that my grandma may need help in being taken care of in the immediate future.

so to cut the long story short, all the Loon siblings (yeah she's my paternal grandma, and she's my only grandparent left) are chipping in to provide my grandma with a maid.

my mom was concerned, not because of the money, but she knew that some maids you just cannot trust. 'what if they are asked to buy lunch, but they stay downstairs to chat with their friends or decide to do something else? they won't care for mama one!'

so my mom went up to my dad and asked if there's anyone who would able to take in mama.

somehow, my dad flared up - very short temper nowadays. :(

he said that there was no one... but my mum knew that a few of my aunties were not working.

and apparently my mum overheard my dad telling my uncle: 'oh, here cannot la! me and doris are working, vivien's studying and adrean's in NS... there's nobody at home, how to take care?'

which implies that the siblings were looking at the possibility of someone taking mama in and caring for her, but in the end, they probably decided to hire a maid because nobody was available.

i don't have details, but my mum was just harping over one fact:

'why is it that all of your dad's siblings are Christians, and they have SO MUCH TIME to do volunteer work, but when it comes to taking in a family member and caring for them, they just can't seem to do it?'

and:

'they all must have thought, oh no, since doris can't take care of mama, we just get her a maid la. coz since doris is not free there's no one else able to cook for mama anyway.' (my aunties can't cook)

my mum has always felt ostracized by the Loon family, maybe coz they're all english educated, and she's not, but she thinks they keep using her because she's the only one with maternal qualities (can do housework, xian qi liang mu, will be willing to care and cook for the elderly etc)

so now my mum is very unhappy. because of all the implications, because she's worried for my grandma (though she gets nothing in return), and because of the 'Christianly' example that my relatives have seemingly portrayed.

it's hard to give them the benefit of the doubt when i hear things like this going on.