i'm am, am not, am, am not going to bangkok
i really needed to get away from singapore for a few days, and initially i'd thought i just wanted to perhaps take a break and go shopping, you know?
but over the past few days, with all the ups and downs regarding me getting my tickets, and then the closure of the airport, and then me refunding my tickets AND THEN alvin's entire family thinking of ideas to get me over to bangkok just to spend a few days with them made me realize why i want to leave so badly.
I WANT A BREAK FROM MY JOB, WHERE NO ONE CAN CALL ME EVEN IF THE LAB BURNS DOWN, I WON'T KNOW AND I WOULD BE UNCONTACTABLE.
this was the most obvious just before i went into service yesterday, when someone from the lab gave me a call and told me my nitrogen generator was leaking N2 into the entire room. 2 days before, the biosafety cabinet suffered from a power trip and also broke down.
i want to turn off my phone for the next two weeks; i want to hole myself up at home; i don't wish to talk to anyone and am yearning the air from another country.
but no. it's not happening. and my hard earned leave has been for nothing.
why? why work so hard to complete all your work just so you can go on leave for two weeks and stay home? why go on leave when people can still call you and bug you about lab stuff? why?
i need rest, i need rest, i need rest.
and i need to breathe from this emotional and desperate barrage and continue on with life.
---
aiyah, alvin just called from cambodia and talking to him about this and telling his family AND extended family i wasn't coming to bangkok anymore just made me bawl like a baby.
but i'm feeling abit better now. though when i think about how i will probably not have another chance to go overseas anytime soon i get pretty bummed out. 1 and a half years, i waited for this.
...
$300 to go to bangkok, $2000 for a trip to hongkong. how to compare, i ask you?
but over the past few days, with all the ups and downs regarding me getting my tickets, and then the closure of the airport, and then me refunding my tickets AND THEN alvin's entire family thinking of ideas to get me over to bangkok just to spend a few days with them made me realize why i want to leave so badly.
I WANT A BREAK FROM MY JOB, WHERE NO ONE CAN CALL ME EVEN IF THE LAB BURNS DOWN, I WON'T KNOW AND I WOULD BE UNCONTACTABLE.
this was the most obvious just before i went into service yesterday, when someone from the lab gave me a call and told me my nitrogen generator was leaking N2 into the entire room. 2 days before, the biosafety cabinet suffered from a power trip and also broke down.
i want to turn off my phone for the next two weeks; i want to hole myself up at home; i don't wish to talk to anyone and am yearning the air from another country.
but no. it's not happening. and my hard earned leave has been for nothing.
why? why work so hard to complete all your work just so you can go on leave for two weeks and stay home? why go on leave when people can still call you and bug you about lab stuff? why?
i need rest, i need rest, i need rest.
and i need to breathe from this emotional and desperate barrage and continue on with life.
---
aiyah, alvin just called from cambodia and talking to him about this and telling his family AND extended family i wasn't coming to bangkok anymore just made me bawl like a baby.
but i'm feeling abit better now. though when i think about how i will probably not have another chance to go overseas anytime soon i get pretty bummed out. 1 and a half years, i waited for this.
...
$300 to go to bangkok, $2000 for a trip to hongkong. how to compare, i ask you?
posted by feline @ 9:52 PM
