(A melodic or harmonic configuration that creates a sense of repose or resolution.)
"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever." - Psalms 52:8
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
it's photoblog time
been running amok with my camera! *click click*
first up, santa is here early this year! and he's flying in from aussie-land, no less.
...
heh heh, it's felix la... he's back (with presents!!)!
and i LOVE the cat-shirt he gave me so much...
... that i'm still wearing it. this is the 2nd day (and counting). heehee. it's comfy laarrr! :D
---
i caught enchanted yesterday!
look out for all the disney in-jokes/cliches. to watch famous disney cartoon scenes being acted out is just priceless.
the actress even flounces exactly the way the princesses do. HAHAHAHA
ah... i look retarded.
we caught it with wai liong and alanna but alanna's photo can't be put up (I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DIE BEFORE I GET MARRIED) so... here's their dinner instead!
and this is us in the theatre:
---
slept late night so i went to bed with my hair wet.
woke up at 6am (*whine-i-got-experiment*) with my hair sticking out weirdly at one side and groggily went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. when i came out, adrean stumbled in, so i told him i was gonna change, DO NOT COME OUT PLS.
i quickly changed into what i wore yesterday (haha, yes it's the cat shirt!) since everything was there already, and left my bedroom before adrean came out of the bathroom.
by the time i re-entered my bedroom, he was hiding in his own room changing, so i popped into the bathroom to try to press my hair down (stubborn, stubborn!!)...
then adrean strode in to mess with his hair too...
i looked up...
'AGGGGGHHHHHH!!!'
we were wearing the exact same outfit.
our top was the same shade of grey, our jeans were both the same series/wash of levi's.
waaaaaaaah laaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuu
then when we left the house together, we both wore the only pair of sneakers we had, and slung our bags around the same manner, left to right.
haha, i think adrean was abit embarrassed, so he wore his jacket on the pretense of 'feeling cold'.
(i wasn't going to post this till tmr, but someone was talking about this too, so alright then... it might be a sign.)
i was doing QT a few days ago, and studying abraham's life story when i thought:
"why on earth is He called God's friend??he gave his wife to various rulers of whichever country he stepped into, and cared about preserving his life over caring for his wife. geez!"
then reading on, i realized that... when God speaks, he moves immediately.
heh, guess which chapter i was at?
it's the famous one where he was going to sacrifice his son, isaac.
as i read, i realized... he's so obedient and faithful. all God had to do was call, and he moved without question. i'm sure at some point he would have thought of: what am i going to tell my wife when i come home without isaac? and isaac, in all his childlike innocence, also questioned his dad: where's the sacrifice, daddy?
i'm sure abraham's heart broke at that. but he continued on.
of course, we all know the story; God told him to stop, and blessed abraham greatly because he obeyed.
i don't know why it took me so long, but i suddenly remembered that this was the exact scenario that was painted to me at one leader's retreat 2 years back.
---
HEY! GOD ALWAYS SPEAKS TO ME AT LEADER'S RETREAT. haha, it's pavlovian now. i'll either really wanna go so i can hear Him, or if i'm trying to hide something from Him, i'll dread going. sheesh. i'll try not to hide though.
---
someone came up to me and said, 'give up your isaac.'up till now, i still have no idea who told me that. i thought it was this particular girl in my tribe... but as it turned out, it wasn't her.
i guess i did the sacrificial walk like abraham, but unlike him, who took time to 'officialize' his offering by building an altar and setting up a fire etc, i made a mess of mine. and then left it there and ran away crying.
i didn't trust Him at all.
i really hope i'm different now, to be more like abraham, to trust and serve God at the same time. it just proves, no matter what kind of a person u are... if u wanna be blessed? just obey.
and TRUST HIM.
---
Relient K - Getting Into You
When I made up my mind And my heart along with that To live not for myself But yet for God, somebody said Do you know what you are getting yourself into
When I finally ironed out All of my priorities And asked God to remove the doubt That makes me so unsure of these Things I ask myself, I ask myself Do you know what you are getting yourself into
[Chorus] I'm getting into you Because you got to me, in a way words can't describe I'm getting into you Because I've got to be You're essential to survive I'm going to love you with my life
When he looked at me and said I kind of view you as a son And for a second our eyes met And I met that with a question Do you know what you are getting yourself into
[Chorus]
I've been a liar and I'll never amount to The kind of person you deserve to worship you You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into
[Chorus]
He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into
when we were in secondary school we used to write in exercise books and we called them letter books because we'd write lengthy letters/stories (ok mostly my romantic escapades HAHAHAHAHA) in them... while the teacher was talking.
geddit? coz we look like we're being really consciencious in taking down notes in our little 'exercise books'. ingenious right?
so, within 2 years we filled up quite a few of these books with stories, plans to cut class, atrocious drawings, maps of the route i walk home so i can check out some guy... heh heh heh.
when we moved on to JC, we split 3-3 to pioneer and AC (seriously guys, why didn't we ALL go to AC? we all qualified what!) ... and i kept the letter-books in case they got lost/thrown away and the memories were lost forever.
fast forward to recent times:
(the conversation has been restructured, but other than that, nothing else is altered.)
me: wah liao they scolded me again for hording the books
mel: you have it right??
me: hurhur *yes*
mel: wah lau u have it for how long already??
me: *meekly* ten years.......
mel: MY GOD!!!!! YOU!
me: i know i know don't u start too... T_T
mel: wah lau you want to what
me: I KNOWWWWWWWWWW
mel: start a museum ar?
me: wah, thanks.
mel: hahahahah!
me: I WILL PRINT AND BIND AND GIVE TO U ALL ON X'MAS i SWEAR man i will give it to u all whatever i have
---
ok i guess u guys know what you'll all be getting now.
i've just spent the entire day out (after sleeping only 6 hours - it really ain't enough) and it's taken its toll on me... but i also can't be more satisfied.
i completed my experiment in the morning.
had a good (fast) lunch before heading down for dance class. the ma la mian at dover is so HAWT, it'll kick you in the gut and leave you bleeding.
had an intense session during dance (i sucked! totally off form; most prob coz my energy was running low already) but OH WELL IT WAS STILL FUN.
and the major high point was... i met my girlfriends!
sans angel dearest and we did miss her so. :(
we met at little india and to walk to this french place mel was talking about. she hasn't been there... and i kinda suspected that it was the one i've gone to before, eons ago, with the xu family. but i didn't recall it was in little india??? i only remembered it was opposite a whole row of pet shops with huge 'EUKANUBA' signs.
on the way there, xinwei was being rather... *ahem* whiny about... *ahem*... OK NEVER MIND OR ELSE LATER SHE END UP GETTING FRISKED/FLAMED ONLINE.
and then once (just once) when we walked past all the shops and this indian lady (very friendly) tried to pass me a pamphlet, as i politely declined, i felt inclined to do the indian thing and wobble my head while saying 'no'.
OH NOES. IS IT RUDE?? I THINK IT IS!!!! *mortified*
i'm sorry, it just came so naturally. i stopped myself mid-wobble though, after being all appalled at my natural tendencies. sheesh!
xinwei just laughed and mel 'tsk'-ed me. eep.
SO. we finally reached the french stall. i'm serious. it's called The French Stall. and it IS the same place where i had fantastic salmon + spinach!
YAY!!! i was delirious with mouth-watering excitement. i had to wipe my mouth and contain myself.
i ordered the same thing, but this time in a 3-course set.
see what we ate! vertically (xinwei's, mel's, mine) horizontally (starters, main, dessert):
hur. xinwei wanted to hit me for not allowing her to eat until the picture's taken. :P
i felt that the best starter was the chicken pate (mel's), best main was steamed dory with mashed potato (also mel's), though i really have to mention xinwei's potato-lasagne thingie of a side dish was pretty darn good too, and the best dessert was the special dark choc cake (mine).
it's a sponge cake, but it melts in your mouth. i have no idea how they did it, it just is.
mel's dessert was a profiterole which was damn huge. we had teeny teaspoons. she had a SOUP SPOON. hahahaha!
my main course was a letdown. it just didn't taste so good anymore... the spinach was different. in my mind, i remember it being cooked differently... maybe i was wrong. maybe food just tastes better when you're not paying for it. heehee.
since i had my cam, we took more shots!
and this is for you, xinwei.
---
we wanted drinks, so we headed down to No. 5 at emerald place.
i was like, hey we take a bus la.
mel looks at me like i'm nuts, so i respond, 'what?? u guys wanna walk?! it's damn farrr!'
she responded by sticking out her hand imperiously and immediately a taxi screeched to a halt.
'oh.'
they both roll their eyes.
as we hit orchard road, xinwei was commenting that the lights were really pretty this year. i looked out of the cab window, gave a hiccup of joy? excitement? and whipped out my camera.
SEE!!
then i had a little daiquiri that escalated my fatigue and made me bid my girlfriends farewell too early! seriously guys, i was really having a very good time but i need to sleep..............
yes, we went to ikoi... nothing much to shout about though.the initial joy of having fresh sashimi made me go nuts, which led to extreme gelat-ness when i ate too much raw fish. (yes, there is such a thing as too much)
bleh.
and i didn't like their soy sauce. too salty; it's not the japanese type that has a particular uniqueness about it. i really love that. but it wasn't there! :(
aiyah, it was not my day for buffets at all. i lost steam barely halfway through. all the guys were shocked, especially chiwern.
'WHAT??!' -gives an incredulously face-
he had the same expression as wai liong the last time i (also) lost steam at that meat buffet.
SIAN! WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING THIS WHEN THE BUFFET IS $45??!?! BUT THEN I EAT SO MUCH WHEN THE BUFFET'S FREE??!?!
$#!@^$#&1
*deflates*
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i'm due anytime soon!
alvin's been a naughty boy. tsk tsk.
but then again... so have colin and chi wern; EEP!!:
finally. no more clicking on every single blog/link/website just to check for updates. everything conveniently pops up once u update on my reader... it is great.
simply because i am so lazy.
oh gosh, i am tired. my eyes feel like they're about to pop out/ shut down/ close up. yes, all three at a go.
*WIDE YAWN*
i hate afternoons when i'm full and nap-ish.
/goes curl up somewhere in the vicinity of alvin's elbow
alvin and i have crossed the 6 month mark! (this is a belated post)
and we celebrated it over 2 days!
monday:we were hungry, so alvin bought us some cake.
cedele's cakes are delicious.
we went to have our haircut together. how romantic! (hahaha)
before:
my hair was really unkempt, and alvin was beginning to look like shaggy from scooby-doo.
during:
alvin looks like some aunty! tee-hee!
after:
this was taken during dinner... at aston's Prime! our dinner was FANTASTIC. best steak i've ever had, and the first time we ever tried kurobuta (black pig! black piiiiig!! i love you black pig T_T) pork chop.
*lao nua*
the bill only came up to $60+.it's really, really, cheap considering the standard of the food.look at it again!
alvin is sad that he's finishing his food. :(
---
the next day, we hit the cinemas to catch stardust (i love it, and i want to watch it again) before going back to school to start our experiment. *sigh*
alvin and i like to walk and sing random songs and it's pretty amazing how we'd go acapella and sing something, pause... and continue right on the same beat.
if not then sometimes we'll just walk in silence for awhile... then break into the EXACT SAME LINE from the same song together. it's very creepy.
well, we just love to sing.
so recently, i was quite interested in minnie riperton's "lovin' you", and listening to it on alvin's earphones was an extra-audio-nary pleasure.
i think it was last weekend when we had to come back to school at 9pm to finish up our experiment; we had free time waiting for something to be processed...
and i decided to try that high pitched tune of that song.
!DISASTER!
i choked, and we laughed so hard coz i felt so stupid... but i tried again anyway.
'AHH- *sputter*'
'hey! u hit the first note!'
after about 3 attempts, i managed to hit all the notes (but sounding like a screeching chicken) and i did it coz alvin was so extremely entertained. hahaha that was so FUN.
...
no, i will not do it in public. nor in the presence of anyone else.
don't even ask!
but i do like mouthing the lyrics and pretending i am singing the song while swaying side to side like a flower in the breeze. or like a crazy woman. people who've gone to ktv with me will know how i emote. hur-hur.
i went for pastor debra's leaders' retreat recently, about one month back, and it was great though i didn't exactly update then how the retreat had impacted me. but i want to do it now.
this is one thing that's been bugging me... since when did i stop my entries on God?
i flipped back and checked my multiply entries, and i remember somewhere i started a blog to remember all God has done for me.
and partly, it's to share my walk with whoever's interested to read about it.
aye... things have changed since.
this latest retreat started off badly. i did not want to go but i did it anyway because i felt obligated to, since i was a 'leader' (i really don't feel like i belong to this category... but that is another thing altogether). i was totally unprepared, physically, mentally, spiritually, and haha, clothes-wise too, since i had no idea what the program was.
it just seemed as if i was pretty much just going with the flow. very bo-chap, you know?
when i got there, however, little was i to know God had plans.
plans to heal me.and the one thing he wanted me to deal with was the first session:
i can't say what ps debra said exactly, but i only remember that He was using her to talk to me.
the summary?
i'm too lazy, i don't care about my relationship with Him anymore, i don't even bother to try and draw near to Him, to seek Him, to ask for His help.everything i do was by my own strength; i prayed out of habit, i'm allowing myself to be jaded.my heart was cold, though on the outside i looked perfectly normal.
and because of that, i've lost all His blessings, i can't see His miracles, i can't be bothered with my children cell group (i go for cell... just to go, u know? it's all duty, and not my calling... nothing!), and even that fragile relationship i have with alvin was being affected by my attitude.
that's the word, ATTITUDE.
my attitude was just 'like that lor *shrug*'.
and wow, was that a wake up call.
and when i thought, ok this is the only thing i need to change, He continued to show me what was wrong.
i was just praying after the session...
(and sobbing a little coz i felt guilty, ashamed of how i'm treating the children in my care, and oh so relieved for the GRACE that came to rescue me from the pits. i didn't even know i was wallowing in a shit-hole.)
... when God continued. 'know why you're like that? you have not forgiven him.'
i blanched. quite stupid of me to think that He, The Almighty, would not find out.
and i knew He was right. i'd been harbouring all the hurt still, though it's been almost 2 years.
(uh, please be reminded that at this point, i'm fine already... if not i won't be sharing this with anyone at all.)
and then He just left it as that. the session ended, and i went for our barbeque session with His last words running on repeat in my mind.
during the bbq, i figured that i had to talk to aileen and run through all the things i needed to let go and forgive, and i thought, well, i just need to do things on my own initiative.
after the bbq, we went back for session #2.
ps debra: 'alright, this session will be about BGR and forgiveness.'
(i like how she always calls it BGR... it makes the whole topic seem so juvenile that it's funny, heehee)
i flipped.
and everything i had in my mind to do, she talked about. how hurts get chalked up when break ups happen, how promises made and broken can make one so bitter and resentful, how placing yourself totally into a relationship can end so much emotional damage... and about soul ties.
i knew that was the one thing i had to break: soul-ties.
and so i did.
this was not the first time i'd prayed about it, but i knew the previous times when i'd prayed, i wasn't praying to God to help me, i was merely relying on myself, on methods like avoiding, putting those thoughts away from my mind... it was just all upon myself.
but this time, it's not easy to avoid God who was there telling me 'i'm HERE, i've come, i will help you.'
and really, if i can't rely on Him... who else?
aileen and i prayed, i cried everything out, and then just like that, healing took place.
---
it's been one month plus, and i'm not saying that i'm completely okay but i really feel the change.
alvin's great. he's really supporting me, and i'm really, really changing under his care. when we started off, he knew i was not completely over everything yet, but he just gave me space to deal with things.
and then one of the ways i (haha) 'manifested' was that i could not bear to think of our relationship going the long-term. i guess i was just very wary and kinda scared of over-committing.
but i think i'm better now. i didn't even hyperventilate when he mentioned that he's got enough savings for a wedding. wow. :D
i thank God. :)
---
i remember you asked me before, 'if we ever broke up, how long do u think it'll take for you to get over me?'
anddddddd we finally have an answer!
2 years! (not 'forever', hahahahahaha)
i truly wish that you'll be happy and blessed too. :)
me: uh...?? (WHO THE HECK IS THIS?? *frantically ransacks my mind to try and recall someone of that name*)
'yee koh yi': (continues talking without acknowledging my pause of unrecognition) ah yes this is YEE KOH YI calling ah, can i just confirm you have a reservation for tonight, 730pm for 10?
my brain gets a sprain as it creaks slowly into place...
OH. IKOI.
-_-"'
---
yay we are having sashimi buffet at ikoi tonight! it'd better be good; it'll cost $40 per pax. eep.
chi wern, alvin and i (maybe aileen too) are all uber excited about it. tee-hee.
i'll admit. i spent more than i should... it's quite obvious when i created a deficit in my account.
but someone spent more than me.
someone... named alvin chong.
wah lau he's NUTS man!! he's got this crazy thing about upgrading his sound and then he keeps buying earphones after earphones, and buying an amp for his creative media player and because it doesn't fit... a dock, for connecting the amp and player.
it appears that i tend to date guys who develop an addiction shortly after we start dating seriously.
*deflates*
alright, alvin doesn't have an addiction... 'obsession' would be a better word.
recently his obsession with acoustics culminated in a late night nag-session. why? he already has 2 pairs of earphones (both bought within the same month, a total of $140 *sigh*) and i knew his trip to Jaben was making him all tempted to buy this $180 earphones. USD.
like, wth man, who the heck buys 3 BLOODY EARPHONES???
not to mention his dock plus amp was... $185.
i didn't want to do the math. i was already freaking out by how much money he spent at a go.
*breathe*breathe*
i think alvin's secretly enjoying how i flip everytime i ask him if he's going to buy something. it's so bad, i don't really dare ask him too often if he's even going to buy something... *shudder*
he's just lost all right to scolding me for spending money on shopping. COME ON MAN, I SPEND LESS THAN YOU.
BY MORE THAN HALF!!
---
i'll admit though, his earphones are great.
in fact, they're bloody awesome. the sound becomes 3-D; u can hear who's playing what, and it's as though you're standing right smack in the centre of a live studio recording.
i think i wanna get one too. but just one.
---
edit:
when i was using alvin's earphones to listen to nickelback -
diremeow: i am the chasm king said: damn sharp
Ms. Moo (@) said: the chiiiiing YES
diremeow: i am the chasm king said: and that BOOOMMMMMM echo echo echo
Ms. Moo (@) said: YES
diremeow: i am the chasm king said: did you get to the part where he's in 3 parts? left then right then center?
Ms. Moo (@) said: here now there was a fast drum part wah the fast drums are good
then when i switched back my own audio-technica ones -
Ms. Moo (@) says: aww not so nice on my earphones :( SIAN I AM GETTING NEW EARHONES which ones should i get SIAN LA U'VE SPOILT ME
diremeow: i am the chasm king says: customs? we get earmoulds together! XD
Ms. Moo (@) says: no. nonononono. those are freaking 1000 plus.
diremeow: i am the chasm king says: actually i was quoted about 900
We will be your hands , we will be your feet We will run this race for the least of these In the darkest place, we will be your light We will be your light
i was running around like some crazy chick on saturday coz i had 4 events on a single day! absolute madness!!!
---
#1: adrean's 21st birthdaywe celebrated nearby (coz of my tight schedule) and headed to tampines mall's Phin's.
it was one quick lunch.
oh there was a nice photo series which i took and could actually see some sequence. hehe, here goes:
you go, bro.
---
#2: pam and roger's wedding
it started out as a disaster for me. bus 10 took forever to come, and by the time i arrived i was so flustered i look quite dishevelled and in my haste, i accidentally hooked the hem of my skirt onto my paper bag which caused my dress to get lifted BEYOND WHAT WAS APPROPRIATE (omg, in a church too *WAILS*) when i picked my paper bag up.
i gave up and sat down from all the rush. and i don't think anyone saw it. *crosses fingers*
i really do stupid things when i'm rushed. sigh.
alvin came along; he was late too. and then i don't know why but he brought along this crumpled excuse of a tie... it was so 'giam cai' i couldn't stop laughing at how pathetic it looked.
look, here it is:
but other than that, it's really quite a nice picture! :)
then i spotted joanna and haha, we oogled over each other's shoes ('OH I LIKE YOUR SHOES!!') before we realized we were wearing similar prints.
somewhat a fashion faux pas but oh, whatever man, pretty can already. ;)
and then i spotted an uncle... but i really liked the gold watch.
(heh it's zhixiong la; watch is lennel's)
THE WEDDING WAS GREAT. short and sweet.
alvin and i... ok, mainly me, kept making commitment jokes. hahaha he wasn't very into my jokes though and kept giving me his >_> look when i said stuff like, 'OH NO DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT MARRIAGE BLAH BLAH'
tee-hee.
and then we grooved together when they played 'i will follow him'. heehee. this is WHY i love alvin so. :D
---
#3: after everything was over, we made a mad dash for hiphop lessons at o-school. we learnt how to do the wave! cool! i have a half wave now! (one arm only, can't extend to the other arm. HAHA!!)
---
#4: met the secondary school bunch for dinner at holland v.
the zombies are this bunch of guys (with a pretty ... *ahem* suspicious frontman) who re-enact those little dances done by anime characters in the theme song of an anime.
