catscatscats...kittens??!?!

there was once was a manja marmalade kitty in the science fac. i loved it... we all loved it coz it was the sweetest cat that would come when 'tsked' at, and duck its head into our bags. or sewage pipes.



haris wanted to eat it because he said it was dumb, but that's not the point. i'm sure he wanted to eat it because it looked so sweet. awwwwww~

then one day, the cat went missing. i was looking forward for it to greet me in the morning at the stairs, or perhaps peeking over a second storey parapet... but i never saw it again. :(

i was silently aching over the loss of that one sweet orange cat, when one day, a grey stripey appeared out of nowhere!

it was so thin and not as pretty as marmalade, but it was just as manja! :D

so the past week, we've just been seeing it on the way to lunch and playing with it, while exclaiming how small and thin this kitten was... till this morning.

the grey kitten GAVE BIRTH.

which was when i realized, eh that's not a kitten... it's actually quite a sizeable cat liao. -_-

see! see! i couldn't stop grinning while taking these photos. mind you, i was alone and smiling to myself like some nutjob.






so cute right. T_T

apparently there're 4 kittens, this little one was only the tip of the iceberg! heehee. i go hunt them down now. whee!

WHAT THE...?!?!? *SHOCKED*

these past few weeks i've been wondering who'd play the guitar when aileen steps out of kids cell. it was actually nagging at me for a while, because i can't play, and i can't learn coz i don't have time, and worst still, i have no interest.

i thought, alright, maybe jacq can do it since she's learning from del now... hmm...

but something just didn't feel right. it just seemed like it was not jacq whom God's prepared... it's someone else. but who? *confused*

last friday, the games room and even our back-up plan, the bbq pits, were so crowded we decided to move over to natalie's place for cell.

when the session was over, and while we were just lounging around before we went downstairs for games, natalie walked over to pick up aileen's guitar. i was going to tell her to be careful, because you know, kids can have quite a bit of the butter fingers.

so i was watching her to see if she was careful with aileen's darling guitar. natalie held on to the guitar and sat down carefully, but before i turned away to watch the other kids... she started plucking at the guitar. expertly. every note was on key, every twang was on beat. and she wasn't playing a slow tune, it was one of those spanish music sorts.

!!!

how come i didn't know she could play the guitar??? i was so excited that God had finally revealed who He's prepared that i jumped around the room in joy and squealed, 'natalie!! you can play the guitar!!! you can play!!! ahahahahahaha!!!'

my gosh. i never even knew she could play... and so well!!! she is only primary 6 and honestly quite a difficult child at times. this is natalie, you know? the one that everyone complains about!! i finally have a way to draw her into worship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

natalie was the unexpected answer. i am still floored by her sudden skill. what the... *shakes head and smiles*

---

the water is extra sweet when you've trudged through the desert.

you've got me thinking...

i was looking through my msn contact list when i spotted a friend's personal message saying,

'i want to earn more money to give my wife a good life'

there's nothing wrong with the statement above. in fact i think it's the right thing when a man seeks to provide... but it's got me thinking...

i've seen some people fighting so hard to give their family a 'good life' that the husband's not around most of the time. it's like some people (men/women) start focusing on giving the family the good life that they forget to enjoy it together. which ultimately causes strain on the family, and even the wife.

i think if i was the wife, i'd rather be poor but happy, because my husband's not out there chasing after money but here with me building a family. haha, simply put... God will provide.

money doesn't always give you a good life. taken to the extreme, it may just become a substitute for a husband's love. :(

go ahead for your Masters, baby. God will provide.

superhero name

this guy is HOW COOL.

srsly.



taken from here.

onemanstarwars!

hey this guy is pretty good. i really should've watched episodes 4-6 before stepping in though.

hehe, his impression of the AT-AT was so darn funny i laughed until i hyperventilated.

non-extreme makeover

this is a good place for you to test eyeshadow colours on your face! :)

www.taaz.com

before:

green:

purple:

with a comb-over (HAHAHAHA i need that hahahahaha):

the bride of frankenstein, as alvin calls it:



it gets worse... GOTH!! (sort of. more like kynt n vyxsin from the amazing race):

teehee. this was fun. ok now back to work.

*snigger*snigger*

omg i am how tired.

i woke up late this morning, with rebonded hair that refuses to stay straight (what an oxymoron), and a pasty biscuit face housing dark eye circles that extend to my chin.

i'm so tired.

i should have gone home after meeting mel... *YAWN* instead of agreeing to meet boon and zhexuan at molly malone's. sigh, st patricks' day. a lot of green... and kilkenny (though i didn't have any).

still glad i hung around for abit and took spastic photos with them though.

wow, i look like crap man. i've got my 'hmm whatever' dress on (it hangs on me like a garbage bag... i guess i feel free and easy in it, 'cept i can't do extreme bendy motions ahahahahahahahaha but i like how airy it is though it makes me look FAT, whee!)

and on the contrary, alvin looks really good hmm... hamsum... OH! yummy (ah... that's the word) today. he's wearing a shirt!! A SHIRT!! WITHOUT ME TELLING HIM TO!

o_O

yeah, coz we're all going down to esplanade later to catch the OneManStarWars! i can't say i'm a fan (coz real fans will stone me.) but i like star wars enough. i just hope my knowledge isn't too rusty. hmm.

*YAAAAAAWWWWWWN*

i like stubby.

i have a deep, deep desire to own both a corgi and a munchkin. or a house full of corgis and munchkins. i don't know. they're so cute they reduce alvin and i to puddles of 'awwww...'

*melts*

honesty and humility

the following post is not so much for your reading pleasure, but serves more as part of my memory archive. of course i'd love to share God's goodness to me with all of you, but more often than not, my walk is filled with discouraging potholes. i keep falling and failing, and recover... only to fail again.

i'm not perfect. and it sucks that i've only just realized that.

---

Hillsong United, The Stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
And what could I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

...

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours


-Honesty-

i cried when i sang this yesterday. this song was so apt, because it described my failure in my children's cell.

the past two weeks were both a blessing and a curse. my parasites were growing so well, it was nothing short of a miracle. the samples we destroyed had taken 2 months of work. i remember mentioning to someone, '*laughs* maybe God will bless and we'll finish in two weeks!'

i half-believed myself, coz it just didn't seem possible to me at all. two months was already quite fast, you know?

and not surprisingly (heh, because God is the miracle maker) alvin and i completed everything in two weeks. and not only that, the amount of RNA we harvested is definitely unmatched to the amounts that we'd gotten previously. it's very clear that God's hand is with us.

---

side note: the day when alvin and i were preparing to harvest our cells, i remember i was so worried, and i kept praying that everything will work out fine, that the experiment wouldn't be set up for failure, that the harvest would yield good results.

and the psalm of the day was this -

Psalm 67

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm. A song.

1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,
Selah

2 that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

3 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.
Selah

5 May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

6 Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.

7 God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

will you just look at verse 1 and 5-6!! i grinned to myself when i read it, and knew that everything was going to be fine. =)

---

i made my blessing a burden though, when i started to skip church to go to work instead. at first, my reasons were fine... the dates of my experiment are unchangeable, once my cells are ready, we have to get going. very simple. i have to go to lab, there's no way around it.

but then i started feeling guilty, and then drained of energy, and then lazy to go to church. then it extended to kids cell.

i don't know when it started, but i guess the drive to lead has never come naturally to me. more often than not, i have no idea how to implement lessons and i wonder, 'what should i teach them next?'

i'm extremely uncreative, so it's a real problem for me to do word and capture the children's attention. seriously, i think only God truly understands how inadequate i feel, and this inadequacy really cripples me.

yeah, so in summary, i feel like crap about myself and how i'm not inspired at all about kids cell. the only thing that keeps me going was the children. i love them, but not enough to step out of this i-want-and-don't-wanna-go-for-cell thing.

i didn't go last week... i really had work to do, but i didn't like the relief that i had when i thought to myself, 'phew, no cell today.' i started wondering what was wrong with me.

then this week, it came again. i had work, and i hadn't planned anything for cell.

i went to the autoclave room and stood there thinking. then i was prompted, 'if you love the children, and if you miss them, just go. I will provide with the plan.'

alrighty then. i made up my mind.

immediately, i started feeling different. i was happier, i finished my planning in 30 minutes, lenny offered me a ride to bedok, and eventually sent me to melville park because her boyfriend used to stay there. and i was EARLY for cell. how amazing is that??i was so blown away by the free ride that just landed on my lap... i was floored, man!

gosh.

then this sunday, again, dread started creeping in when i was preparing to leave for church. it's like i woke up, showered and dressed up out of habit more than anything, and when i was thinking of leaving my house, i started to think, 'maybe i should stay home... do work... pack my room... *sigh*'

eventually i went, not because i wanted to please God (sorry), but because i didn't want people to look at me with pitying glances and go, 'oh no, look, i think she's backsliding.'

-_-"'

so when worship came around, i was super into it. i was determined to get back in touch with God. and apparently He wanted me back into it even more, haha.

so yeah, there was the weeping when we sang 'The Stand'. at that point i really, really wanted to change everything about myself that i didn't like, but tolerated. CHANGE!! and commit to my CHANGE!!!

at the end of worship, i felt a quiet peace and thought, 'yep, well. i guess my issue is settled now.'

nah, God was not done with me yet.

pastor melvyn gave the sermon yesterday, and it was based on psalm 73, a psalm of asaph. when i realized it, i was stunned. it was the same psalm that caught my heart that week.

when i read it, i thought, 'oh, ok i shouldn't look at what the God-less have, and envy them. hmm, okay.'

but when pastor melvyn explained it, it spoke to me on so many levels, it was scary. it's a description much deeper and more profound than what i had, of course. haha.

he spoke about how asaph was a leader and yet he almost lost his faith and it was just amazing that he could be so honest about it.

and then he continued on to the things that brought asaph down, namely envy, and then about how asaph struggled to re-enter God's sanctuary (by right, he already could since he was THE worship leader, a Levite) and how when he got there, he experienced a sudden change of heart.

at that point i was shocked by how applicable it was to me. everything in psalm 73, through pastor melvyn's explanation was applicable.

i haven't written so much during service for too long. this sermon took up two full pages. even candice, who wanted to see what she missed after she came back from the toilet, gave up after she realized that i hadn't stopped scribbling for the last 5 minutes. (sorry babe! haha!)

-Humility-

when the end of the sermon came around, altar call was next. even as i stood up from my seat, i started to think.

viv1: i should go for altar call. it's been too long.

viv2: aiyah. just stay here like you always have la. go to the front and show the whole world for what? i'm sure God can touch you here at the back too.

viv1: but i think i should.

viv2: no need la. it's so embarrassing to go in front.

viv1: precisely! i'm always so ashamed to go to the front, and then i start giving excuses, like 'oh, i need to be here with the kids; oh i don't want to show people i'm weak la; or oh i'm sure God is here at the back with me too.' HEY, NO MORE. i know God wants me to do this.

then viv2 was silenced. good.

and not only that, God had other ways to tell me, 'i want you here. this time, altar call is for you, my dear.'

pastor melvyn was calling out to those who
- feel criticized
- feel disappointed in God
- need to get back into the sweet presence of God (yup, it was sweet alright)
- harbour envy
- find it difficult to listen to authority
- are tired from leadership - God understands it's tough. you don't have to be ashamed of it
- feel inadequate

...

the list went on. other than his call to the students who just finished their As and to those who have heart problems (healing), everything was what i needed.

even before i stepped out from my seat (i was right next to the aisle), my tears were brimming already.

i just really, really wanted to have a good cry in front of God, with no pretense that i am strong and all's fine with me... i'm so not! i have so many character flaws that i'd allowed to fester in me, i was selfish and i didn't love God which was apparent in the way i treated the people around me.

my vision was so blurred i walked straight into some guy, and i might have left 2 wet patches on his back. oops.

this lady prayed for me... it was a very strong prayer as she interceded for me, and the part i remember the most was when she said, 'God, we let you be the senior leader, and my sister is the junior leader.' yep, i really just need to let God guide me while i follow... it's so simple sometimes. sigh, even the lady prayed until she cried.

i haven't felt so desperate and wretched in a long time. i'm not fine, but i guess it's good that i've finally heard God in a long, long time. very small voice, but He's still there... and it comforts me to know that.

---

Psalm 73

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

rude, rude, rude.

there's something about condo staff that makes them rude.

i'm not sure if it's because they work there, and hence think they OWN the place, or maybe it's because they set the rules and guidelines (ooh, so scary wor) so they feel high and mighty about themselves.

whatever it is, when you're working at a condo facilities center, you're part of the service line and HENCE POLITENESS TO YOUR CLIENTS IS REQUIRED.

i was polite when i called, and asked whether the theater was fully booked this friday.

i really don't know what's up with you, and why you were so agitatedly telling me, 'BUT YOU HAVE TO COME DOWN PERSONALLY TO BOOK!! YOU MUST CHECK WITH SECURITY!'

yes, i know that, but i'd just like to check the availibility of the facility, i told you nicely. i even put in a hint of a smile over the phone, in case you thought i was one of those people who didn't read your 101 posters on the lift saying, 'PLEASE BOOK THE FACILITIES PERSONALLY FROM NOW ON KPLSTHX'.

and what's that about checking with security? so the security handles facilities booking now? erm... so your job... pertains to what exactly?

and so i ask again for availability, politely, so that i won't need to rush home, or make my brother rush down to book the theatre only to realize that it's full, and it's a wasted trip. i'm sure the file can't be more than 10 strides away, i've seen your room, it's not exactly a sprawling mansion.

and so you bang the phone down, stride over while complaining to the entire room in malay (hey mister, i understand you alright. even if i didn't take bahasa, your tone makes it pretty plain how you feel about providing a bit of service), and then finish complaining, pick up the phone, and mumble something like, 'hello, you still have to check with security.'

you rude, rude person. i just didn't see the point in talking to you nicely anymore.

it was good that you finally stopped reiterating yourself after i shouted, 'I JUST WANT TO SEE IF IT'S AVAILABLE!' but your sarcastic way of saying, 'YESSSS, it's avaaaaaailable from 9-1130, 4-630, and 630-9pm.'

you were deaf to my polite questions, but i'm not deaf to the timings you said so tersely. wow, thanks for shouting back at me man. i'm not one to be pushed over too, because this is going to your superiors.

melville park has taught me well.

---

wah uncle, you heng someone else picked up my complaint call. and that she gave me exemplary service (something which you obviously do not have) and appeased me.

YOU HENG AH.

no doubt about it at all.

yay alvin's finally gotten hold of No Doubt's 'Tragic Kingdom'!! AND THEY'RE SO AWESOME!!! XD!!!

too bad they're all flac files and i can't upload my favorite tune like i always do... the file's way too large, like 31.3mb. :(

my fav's Sunday Morning! how about you? heeh.

aww, the bass... *weeps*

any moment right now i could just whip my earphones out of my laptop, jump up, start head banging, totally rock out and sing at the top of my lungs.

YOU CAME IN WITH THE BREEZE!!! ON SUNDAY MORNINGGGGG!!! *broad grin*

this is why i can't stand girls that act cute

this is so funny, i laughed till tears came to my eyes.

http://yutakis.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/transformer/

this is exactly why i think girls that go for bambi eyed looks are kinda gross. because they're actually men.

---

OH MY GOODNESS THERE'S A LOT OF EXPLICIT LANGUAGE IN THERE, PLEASE READ AT YOUR DISCRETION!!

only focus on the pictures! please!

bleh, didn't realize... was laughing too hard at the pictures.

tremors

there are serious tremors at where i am right now. it started since around 830pm, and keeps occurring in once every few minutes, and they range from light ones where you merely see ripples inside our bottled liquids, to strong ones where you can feel the table shift under your resting arm.

it's creeping me out.

what the heck's going on?

WELL!

i have one hour to kill, before i make my next smear, so i might as well blog ALL the backlogged posts in my head.

---

i think this is very funny.


it's true. all the expert tunes seem as if the guitarist was suffering from SUDDEN EXTREME SPASMS.

---

last weekend, before alvin and i had to return to school to harvest our cultures, we had 2 hours to kill while at his place so we took out Khet to try and have a go at it.

it's me versus the GEP boy who's played chess before. seriously, i thought the outcome would be pretty obvy... like, duh, right?

so i kept saying, 'dear ah, don't laugh at me okay... i'm not very good at this... anyhow play la ok? LOOK THE LASERS ARE SO KICKASS WAHHHHHHHH... *_*'

but apparently...

i am the QUEEN OF KHET. *manic laughter*

game #1 (imhotep layout):

his move, my move (yay i killed one of your... WHAT THE??!?! I'M RED??!?! NOOOOOO), his move, my move , his move, my... oh hai alvin your pharaoh's dead.

teehee.

it was a good dinner. alvin kept pouting while i kept glancing at him over my soup and laughing in spurts (was trying to control myself, hehe.) the whole thing about me killing my own pawn by sheer stupidity was completely forgotten after my 'crushing-alvin-in-4-steps-muahahahaha'

game #2 (classic layout):

this one took a little longer. i started to say, 'hey you do know the first game was a complete accident right? relax la, i'm sure to lose now that you're thinking so hard.' but alvin absolutely refused to listen to me coz he thought it's all a ploy to make him feel secure, hahahahahaha.

fast-forward to the ending; alvin suddenly exclaims 'WAH YOU GOOD! trap me??!?!?!'

i was totally clueless. 'what? where?'

he shoots me the >_> look, then ignores me and stares long and hard at the board. i stare too... then i see it.

gosh, i did trap him. but it was such a ridiculous moment of unintentional smartness that i couldn't help but giggle again.

alvin was not too amused. he really tried very hard. awww... *sayang*

ok la, i don't say already, later he refuse to play Khet with me anymore. :p

but it was so funny!! hehehehe. his extended family was there watching too. heeheehee.

HEEHEEHEE!

---

and yes, i finally blog about this.

you see, i'd wanted to post a longer post talking about our cell group's x'mas dinner, who came, our fun pictures, little red riding hood wannabes... but eventually, the highlight is still this -

GH BATTLE "BEST OUT OF THREE" VS MR 'I DON'T ADMIT DEFEAT' CHONG JUNLIANG

it all started when he insulted ingrid and aileen... so we started off with junliang's choice of song (it's one of his mambo songs ahahaha). when we jerk, we're actually trying to attack each other by zapping stuff at each other's screens.

(forgive my rather tomboyish display when i win... i am creepy like that. it'll serve you better to just be entertained by jun. he's super animated once he slings on that plastic guitar, haha!)

meandering thoughts

i'm tired but i'm still in school, waiting for my cultures to mature so i can experiment on them.

i don't feel like coming to work tomorrow... i wonder if i write an email to my prof... will he allow it?

i shall try begging. maybe i should send it to him only when i leave school; i'm suspecting work to end in the wee hours of the morning.

cramps... ugh. first days are NOT comfy at all.

alvin's not here yet. if he drives i'll bring all my work home. whether or not my prof allows i think i will just work from home. must rest... i have another experiment on sunday 10pm which will last till 4am.

---

my cultures aren't ready. which means sunday's experiment will start at around 12am and end on monday at 6am?

i'm feeling rather indifferent and numb about the unearthly hours; the sooner you get used to it the better. i'm just wishing i wasn't wearing a thin dress coz i'm freezing in the malaria room.

I HAVE NOT PLANNED FOR KIDS CLUB YET. *bashes my head into the wall*

i need more time. and a clearer mind. it's beginning to feel as if i'm walking through a big fluffy cloud and only discovering things as they get closer. i'm so groggy i can't even do my usual 'plan everything, make sure you have everything ready' kinda anticipation.

i'm looking forward to my self proclaimed 'off'-days after tonight and monday morning.

sleeping in is the one comfort that i haven't had in a long, long while.

despite all these, i still thank God we've got such beautifully healthy cultures. =)

oh brb, time to check my smears.

---

Dear Lord, please let them be majority rings now. but i'm okay if you have better plans. amen.

---

ah... better plans are ahead.

maybe finishing at 4am. *shrug*

urban dictionary

hey! apparently what alvin and i do is pretty common! hehe.

from Urban Dictionary:

	compunicate
	When you are in the same room with someone, each on seperate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person Even though they are sitting right next to each other, Jesse and Justin only compunicate when they have to tell each other something.

silent joy

i think alvin and i are the weirdest couple.

we're currently waiting for the next culture harvest, which is starting in 30 minutes. and in the meantime, we're seated next to each other, separately plugged into our choice of music, occasionally singing out loud when the office is empty (yes, believe it or not, we're not the only ones working on Sunday night) especially since we can't hear each other through our earphones, and conversing silently through MSN.

i don't know but there's something i really like about listening to a fantastic playlist, working on my Excel spreadsheet, chatting on MSN, and occasionally giving alvin the '-_-' look whenever he says something spastic.

our conversations are just conveyed by shooting a look and writing in caps on msn, hehehe.. dysfunctional relationship, eh? things are getting a little too tech-savvy for our own good.

but this makes the immense workload a lot easier to take. :)


Singing without tongues
Screaming without lungs
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation
Desperate we are young
Separate we are one
I want more than my desperation
I want more than my lonely nation...

---

i think i need some time off once the financial year closes.


Don't leave me hollow
I'm tired
Don't leave me hollow
I'm tired of feeling low

poetry in Symmetry

i love this song. i love the girl's voice, i love the part when the male lead raises his key and his falsetto melts together into the girl's voice, i love the whole mood of the song, i love how unhurried the tune is.

this is definitely my favourite song of Mew's.

---

Mew - Symmetry

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind
But I'm not happier than you
I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind
But I'm not happier than you

Did I really see you
Or was it a dream?
Dreaming that it was seamless
Not a trace of wrong
Wrong words that we have spoken
Little did we know
No bigotry, no tears shed
Oh if only...

Only you'd try to be polite
Thinking you were right
Only to find that you're unkind
But ironically you will always be
Belle of the ball at least to me

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind
But I'm not happier than you
But my words are frail
Not audible they do
Do not even convince me
Perhaps they are untrue
Truly with you the worst is always true
I gave you all the benefits
Of all the doubts I had

Never hoped to be as benign as me
Funny how you always get through
But ironically you will always be
Belle of the ball at least to me